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제목 답변입니다
작성자 프랙티쿠스 작성일 2018-10-18 조회 326
안녕하세요.

좋은 문장이 되기 위해 수정할 부분이 많아 보이고, 제시하신 조건도 모호합니다만

원문을 최대한 살린 채 수정해 보았습니다. 아래와 같습니다.

1.May 17 this year,the girls in the 2nd grade class 4 played the final round of the sports league.
2.It was held in the gym.
3.Girls played dodge ball,and boys played soccer in the sport league game.
4.However,only the girls who are in the 2nd grade class 4.(<-뒷부분이 빠진 문장 같네요)
5.The girls were not only good at playing dodge ball but also good at unity.
6.The girls played in the league,helping each other.
7.The reason why ♡♡(학교 이름이라) held the sports league event was to entertain the students.
8.Whether the students won the first place or not,they played without regret.
9.They enjoyed the league and encouraged each other as if they were the first place winners.
10.After the league, the 2nd grade class 4 became a stronger team.

 

reply  원본글

어법 오류가 있는지 문장속에 조건이 모두 만족되어있는지 봐주시고 오류가 있거나 조건이 모두 만족되지 않았으면 고쳐주세요.!
[조건]
not only A but also B의 문장이 올바르게 쓰였는가?
each가 들어간 문장이 올바르게 쓰였는가?
육하원칙이 모두 적혀있는가?
3인칭과 과거시제로만 이루어져 있는가?
오류가 없는가?(10문장이 이어지는 내용이기 때문에 매끄러운지도 봐주세요)

1.This year,the girls in the 2nd grade class 4 played the final round of the sports league on May 17.
2.It was held in the gym.
3.Girls played dodge ball,and boys played soccer in the sport league game.
4.However,only the girl who are in the 2nd grade class 4.
5.The girls were not only good at playing dodge ball but also good at unity.
6.The girls played in the league,helping each other.
7.The reason why ♡♡(학교 이름이라) made the sports league games is to entertain the students.
8.Whether the students win the first place or not,they played league without regret.
9.They enjoyed the league and encouraged each other as if they had won first place.
10.After the league,the teamwork of the 2nd grade class 4 has become stronger.
2018-10-17 배서은

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